Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I wish there were birth control emojis
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
