i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
