i'm signing you up for texting rehab
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
