How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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