I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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