Nicole vs. Life
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
