In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i think im in europe. pls send help
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
