do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
