did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
