why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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