There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
