I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
