I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
