i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
