it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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