They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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