I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
