If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
is wine microwaveable?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
