So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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