Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
