help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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