i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
