Christians are straight up FREAKS
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
