Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
