I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
