I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
