If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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