I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
