i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
