I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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