Dual....:-)
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
