I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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