She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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