if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
