Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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