in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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