Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
