So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
