I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
