She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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