The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
