Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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