you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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