i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
