I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
