i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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