check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
