he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
