ya dads aren't the best wingmen
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
