Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
