You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
