What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
